Saturday June 5th

“The hotel is paradise,” says the text from Paul. I agree. “We’re in the middle of a monsoon!” says the next one.

Thankfully I am not. While Paul is in Phuket I am in Dublin for Irish Paul (The Ginger Beacon)’s wedding. Beacon became our Production Manager in France after I flew him out mid shoot at my own expense, he saved us from disaster. He is marrying Courtney whom he met in Cannes two years ago. There is something magical about that festival, apparently more so than in Phuket from the texts I keep getting.

As one of the Groomsmen I have to wear the full costume on a rare sweltering day in Ireland, the reception is in the 5* Shelbourne Hotel, a world away from the 2* motel I was working in until a few days ago. For the first time I see behind the public façade and appreciate the work involved and I am thankful for both experiences. The reception is themed on Morocco as Courtney lived there for many years, Casablanca plays on big screens around the room and everyone gets a stack of gambling chips to lose in the makeshift casino. I am heartened to see that the first person on the roulette table is the priest. Beacon, one of my closest friends, has managed to perfectly blend Irish Catholic with American Protestantism and North African Islam into one unique ceremony and all in less than a fortnight. That is why he was so valuable to us during the shoot. He is also probably the only person who could get me to try Irish Dancing.

Tuesday June 8th
John Last (the actor who plays Jode in DEP) and I are heading to Heathrow. I have hardly slept. Throughout the night Paul texted me constantly. Check the festival website, email this, facebook that, write this etc, the festival is in trouble and I need to drum up support this end. The last few days have seen the film rescheduled, rescheduled and finally cancelled. At 4.30am I listened to him on Phuket FM begging people to help, it doesn’t sound good.

I break the news on the tube to John that the film might not screen at all. Three days of screenings have now been culled at the last minute to save money. Our flights, which he paid for (I struggled to afford the budget flight to the UK from France), are non-refundable so we decide to go anyway. The flight is wonderful and relaxing, we are on the top deck of the giant Singapore Airlines A380 and I watch some films, read my book about the “Rite of Isis” and see an incredible late night lightening storm over Kashmir.

Wednesday June 9th
When I started writing the script to DEP in January 2007 I had a feeling that one day it would lead me to visiting somewhere I have never been before, but had always wanted to see. That place turns out to be Thailand.

We are met in Phuket by rain clouds, a wall of heat and my ex-cousin Mel whom I haven’t seen for 10 yrs, he now lives on the island but hasn’t heard of the Film Festival. That is not a good sign. After 16 hours of traveling the 5* Vijitt Hotel and in particular the swimming pool is welcoming – but not the news. Paul has found a venue and projector and we are screening on Saturday night but the film is not certain to be officially part of the festival, without that we can’t win an award and we need awards to get distribution.

We decide to spend a few hours with an American director Darnell, whose film survived the savings hatchet a few days ago, and her son snorkeling the coral reefs. It is a perfect way to relax before confronting the shit storm that is coming with the heavy evening rain clouds.

On the boat trip back I sit and think about the hundreds of serendipitous events that have conspired over the past 10 years to bring Paul, John and myself here. If I hadn’t sent that other script off in 2003 to that other producer who passed it on to that other producer who happened to meet Paul by chance… If I hadn’t contacted that other director in 2000 and first gone to Cannes with him… If I hadn’t been to that audition in 2005 and been cast opposite John Last… If I hadn’t crashed that particular yacht party in 2004 where I first saw Stéphanie… If she hadn’t agreed to work that year when she didn’t want to… If just one event hadn’t happened we wouldn’t be here now. I don’t believe in coincidence. To me it is a more a sense of destiny than chance, as if the last decade of my life has been building up to this.

Later we watch “Clash” a Vietnamese action film, there are about 10 people in the audience, including Sonny the director, he has the kind of humility and positivism that is so inherent in South East Asia and that I so aspire to, a world apart from the negative western attitude that greets me in the guise of Scott Rosenberg, the festival, director with the phrase “Welcome to chaos!”

The chaos is about to begin…

Thursday (Pang Samati) June 10th
“The Bodhistattva determines to find
the cause of suffering and its cessation.”

So the postcard on my bed tells me.
In Buddhism there is a representation for each day of the week, this is today’s.

I have suffered greatly in the past three years making this film, financially, emotionally, spiritually and I’d certainly like it to end. The strain of trying to finish the film and the debts I have incurred since we started coupled with unemployment, moving to a new country and becoming a father have taken their heavy toll. I have watched helplessly as my life has been shredded before me and slowly put back together again and my face is plastered in bright crimson red stress-induced eczema that has become so ingrained I have forgotten how I looked without it. Last summer when we were blocked in the eternal de-spotting saga and no progress had been made for months I wept in the shower under the weight of it all convinced the film would never be finished and wishing it had never started.

I do some Tai Chi on the balcony overlooking the early morning-lit sea and rub coconut oil into my facial eczema, something that was suggested to me in France by a man who is unique that he is the only person in the world who can balance five crystal balls on his head one on top of the other.

Paul and John go for breakfast and I stay in the room to design some flyers and posters to promote our screening. The hotel is, as Paul described, Paradise. If God built a hotel in Eden it would be modeled on this. Giant butterflies flutter past, toucans nestle in the banana trees, lizards clamber up the walls, everything is wood and bamboo and it is hot, so beautifully, beautifully hot.

We meet Mel and welcome a new arrival to our group, the “Elephant Mobile” a rattley old red Ford whose windows don’t open, grinds into action and shudders at the thought of hills. This is to be my home for the next three days as we frenetically promote the film. I drive back and forth around the island as we flyer and poster everywhere, beaches, shopping malls, bars, hotels. I even meet a family from Beacon’s home town - they know him well. For me that is a sign that I am in the right place. I don’t believe in coincidence.

After 10 hours we end up in “Sodom & Gomorrah”, the red light street in Patong Beach. Paul has
become possessed in his determination to get an audience, sweating and frantic he fits in well in
a street where ping-pong balls and ladyboys are the star attractions. No-one here it seems is
interested in seeing a film about elephants. Sleep is welcomed but short-lived.

Friday (Pang Ram Pueng) June 11th
“Under the Banyan tree The Buddha
wonders how he can explain the cause
of suffering to others.”

I wake up to get an email from a sales agent passing on the film.
We are running out of options. We have been hunting a sales agent for over 2 years now.
Each pass makes the task a little harder but not as hard as trying to explain to investors
(many of whom are family and friends) why we haven’t found one yet. It has been a burden
we have carried for far too long. As I am one of the biggest single investors in the film, I need it
more than most.

More driving. The roads are chaotic and a giant free-for-all, lanes, indication, spatial awareness
are non-existent, even sticking to your own side of the road seems voluntary, but somehow it
feels safe. Without the dogmatic rules everyone can express themselves freely and driving
becomes a twisted pleasure.

As Paul and John flyer I try to get the now redundant Beta SP tape we had made for the
screening converted to DVD as the screener copy Paul has is time-coded across the top.
I search for production companies, TV studios, photo shops but without luck, I clock up over
100 miles and feel like I have wasted the day.

I then pick them both up from opposite sides of the island and we head back to the main venue (some 20 miles form the hotel) for the screening of a Thai-USA comedy/drama that was the pre-festival “buzz” film. There is a good audience as the film is sponsored by a coffee company. The three female leads are well known in Thailand and get the full star treatment, photo calls, autographs, crowds, exactly how we should have been greeted and how John imagined it would be when he booked the flights. I wonder if they have any idea what is actually happening at the festival or are they just blinded by the temporary and somewhat sycophantic burst of attention?

The trailer to DEP plays silently on a giant screen opposite but no-one watches it. Paul hijacks
the MCs microphone and tells the crowd about DEP but most don’t speak English. Scott however
is impressed by our hard work and our film is fully re-instated into the film festival, partly due to the
number of calls and emails he has received in our support. That lost night in London wasn’t all
wasted. That is good news at least. The film thankfully is not so great and apparently half the 50
strong audience were given their tickets. The reception afterwards at our hotel is pretty empty.
 
We skip the Q&A to watch the opening match of the world cup on a fuzzy portable TV at a
roadside noodle bar, the commentary is in Thai but the food is excellent and cheap. It reminds
me of the Place el-Jemma in Marrakech where I first decided to write the script and Paul first
planned his shot lists. Morocco again, I don’t believe in coincidence.

PART TWO CLICK HERE...

Paul on the boat

Mr. & Mrs. Beacon... and Humphrey

Mr. & Mrs. Ex-Cousin Mel... and Jonnie

The Vijitt Hotel